pranabanana

Here’s another gem that I received via email. Aah the ubiquitous forward.. I am constantly astounded by the number of these bloody things that I receive. This one deserves a place in the bad rhetoric hall of fame:

From the daughter of a Soldier…

Last week I was in Trenton, Ontario, attending a conference [presumably the National Rifle Association, Canadian Branch]. While I was in the airport, returning home [to Alberta, where I own a Humvee dealership] , I heard several people behind me beginning to clap and cheer. I immediately turned around and witnessed one of the greatest acts of patriotism I have ever seen. Moving through the terminal was a group of soldiers in their camo’s, as they began heading to their gate everyone (well almost everyone) [except for those filthy peaceniks] was abruptly to their feet with their hands waving and cheering.

When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and cheered for, it hit me. I’m not alone. [Of course not asshole, you’re in an airport] I’m not the only red blooded Canadian who still loves this country and supports our troops and their families. [As opposed to those reptilian Canada haters who don’t support Canada’s military participation in foreign lands] Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for these young unsung heroes who are putting their lives on the line everyday for us so we can go to school, work and home without fear or reprisal [from those TERRORISTS we keep hearing about?? Bollocks.] Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our servicemen and women a young girl, not more than 6 or 7 years old, ran up to one of the male soldiers. [cue violins…] He kneeled down and said “hi,” the little girl then she asked him if he would give something to her daddy for her. The young soldier, he didn’t look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he would try and what did she want to give to her daddy. Then suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him on the cheek. [Awwww!]

The mother of the little girl, who said her daughters name was Courtney [can’t you just picture her little blonde curls?], told the young soldier that her husband was a Corporal and had been in Afghanistan for 11 months now [bombing it back to the stone age in the name of peace or oil or in search of Saddam Bin Laden or somebody]. As the mom was explaining how much her daughter, Courtney, missed her father, the young soldier began to tear up [Well shucks ma’am]. When this temporarily single mom was done explaining her situation, all of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second. Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military looking [expensive, oil-powered?] walkie-talkie. They started playing with the device and talking back and forth on it [Hello Afghanistan? Is Chuck there?]. After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to Courtney, bent down and said this to her, “I spoke to your daddy and he told me to give this to you.” He then hugged this little girl that he had just met and gave her a kiss on the cheek [no tongue]. He finished by saying “Your daddy told me to tell you that he loves you more than anything and he is coming home very soon.” [as long as Mr Harper doesn’t send him to Lebanon or Iran or whoever else is on George W’s hitlist]. The mom at this point was crying almost uncontrollably and as the young soldier stood to his feet he saluted Courtney and her mom [huge cinematic crescendo…]. I was standing no more than 6 feet away as this entire event unfolded. As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate, people resumed their applause. As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry eyes, including my own. That young soldier in one last act of selflessness, turned around and blew a kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek [is that tear for little Courtney or for himself?]. We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices. At the end of the day, it’s good to be a Canadian. [O Canaduh!]

RED FRIDAYS —– Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? [Consume and conform??] Canadians who support our troops used to be called the “silent majority”. We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers [God is on our side!!]. We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing [hmm]. We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions. Many Canadians, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of Canada supports our troops [Everybody’s doin it! You should too!!] . Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday – and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that.. Every red-blooded Canadian who supports our men and women afar will wear something red. By word of mouth, press, TV — let’s make Canada on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers [Glory glory hallelujah]. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family, it will not be long before Canada is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once “silent” majority is on their side more than ever [we gladly will sacrifice your lives to protect the wealth and power of our leaders] certainly more than the media lets on. [Those filthy peaceniks.] The first thing a soldier says when asked “What can we do to make things better for you?” is “We need your support and your prayers.” [I would have thought it would be “Send us HOME!!”] Let’s get the word out and lead with class and dignity [guffaw!], by example; and wear something red every Friday. THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED—- SO WEAR RED! — Lest we Forget.

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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Wake up.